Note: Sorry all if my posts have been a little rushed and not as carefully written or spell checked lately! I am trying to go through these posts one by one and change that, unfortunately when I get a little anxious/depressed, rushed emotions etc my dyslexicness comes on TOP form and it’s hard for me to hold back! 😀 So please be patient with me thank you!
Hello all, well it’s been a little while since I posted, wasn’t sure how to start this post really! Well here we go my Grandad came out of ICU and is now recovering well in Liverpool Hospital, however my Nana was found to have cancer again (the one I did the Race for Life for?!), it had spread, there was nothing they could do, and she was too weak for more Chemo,My beautiful Nana died on the 24 September 2011 in her hospital bed, and she looked so peaceful!
I miss her like crazy I cried a bit, then I cried like mad, but now I can’t cry I’m numb to the core and am unsure how to feel, I’m carrying on with my life day by day, but part of me feels like I’m living in someone else’s body, I want to go far far away and be totally alone and just process everything Life doesn’t allow that neither does lack of funds, but I still don’t actually know HOW to feel?!! I can’t explain it but this is what I feel right now.
Anyway on a positive note My Grandad is geting stronger day by day (yep that is my Nana’s husband!), and is doing really well, he should be having chemo soon too, he is amazingly strong though!!
Well on the weight loss front I have now got my 7lb award which means I have lost that amount and am now 14.4, took me a while to get there but I did, I thought I might put weight on, you know because of the upset but it just stayed the same, I need to try harder though and sure do need some exercise!!
Two people noticed I’d lost weight, one even said my face looked really slim, she said you have lost a lot of weight off your face haven’t you? I felt a little embaressed but in a kinda good way!! I found a great workout vid, and I really need to kick myelsf up the butt to try and do it, but I’m constantly tired after work at the moment so I’m going to have to do the workout in the morning, I guess I shall have to go to bed earlier and then wake early in the morning to do the exercises, but you need sacrifices to look this good right?
I want to look fit, slim and toned not skinny (that would not be a good look on ME!) just toned and slim! That will make my day, and if I can achieve this before my 30th even better (I’m 28 now!!) let me rephrase that, I WILL achieve this before I’m 30! Positive thinking is the way to go eh?!
Well thanks for reading!!