Happy Mother’s Day

Well I’m still feeling sick in the morning, if I didn’t know any better, you would have thought I was pregnant (I’m not honestly!) I’m still on about 6 tablets a day (yuk!) and my infection is no better, I’m spending that much time attached to my hot water bottle, I’m suprised my hubby isn’t jealous of it!! 

I have a little teddy called blue, when I was younger and this Endo lark first started ny hubby got hin to cheer me up, he has HAPPY BEAR written on his top, and it always cheers me up, my son has most of my teddies now, but the other day I was feeling particullary down when, my hubby comes into the sitting room, with a cheeky grin, and wiggles the teddy (like you would to a baby from side to side, I told you I was a big gkid!) and he made the teddy give e lots of hugs and kissess, well it cheered me up. I’ve had a nice sleep cuddling up to him (the bear not hubby lol) and last night I tried to sleep in my own bed instead of sofa, that was a waste, my neck hurt, I felt sick, I was itchy, lost count of loo stops :/ ughh Do I hate being ill or WHAT?!

Well today is Mother’s day and my son (actually hubby!!) bought me the new Sims3 game, called Showtime, but it was the special edition one with Katy Perry, it has a poster (which is v. nice actually) and two guitar picks (I know I don’t play, and your point?) I am such a lucky lucky girl! He gave me a card he had done in school (will scan later if can, or remember!) and also one he bought me, the one he had bought me, he coloured the picture in for me all by himself, he did a pretty good job too, there was a lot of colouring to be done, and you know boys and colouring!! (or is that just mine?)

Well yesterday my hubby took my Son to the Cinema (I didn’t go as I’m still not well, and ride in a car =agonising pain!) to watch TinTin, afterwards he went and picked up a new printer (just like this one) .for me, as my old one’s power box thing went, and a new one cost £30.00 which we could get a printer for, and we couldn’t find any old ones compatible on ebay, so here we have a lovely new printer, it’s wireless too, if your wondering whether it worth it, here’s my answer HELL YEAH!  I can print from my phone, you kinda email it, it’s like a modern way of faxing!! So cool! We scanned some pics that my son had done and put them on this comp (I’ll upload them in a min!) so now I have his picture as a background, you should of seen his smile when he saw THAT!!

It’s great qualityprinter and it’s HP like the old one, it’s not as fancy looking and it doesn’t have a card reader, but that doesn’t really matter. Oh did I mention it is WIRELESS too? ARGHHH sooooo cooool!!! *ahem*

Well now I’ve come to the end of my essay worthy post I shall put some pics up!!

 

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A day in the life of Abi

Well today, I thought might be a better day as yesterday I felt a bit better, the pain was a bit easier and I didn’t need as much strong tablets, however, the sickness crept up on me at night and I was wide awake at 3.10am until about 6.30 , I was so wide awake I managed to do like 4 crosswords, spot the difference and wordsearches, normally I find these a struggle but I whizzed through them like a woman possessed lol!!

 

Yes at this speed!

This is what it felt like when doing my crossword!!

So here goes my battle once again, I feel sick and dizzy on these tablets, and nodding off with no warning, yesterday my hubby was sitting playing on the computer and I was sat on the sofa, the next minute he was holding a plate of food in front of me, I had been sleeping!!!

I’m sorry if you find this boring, but this is the way I find to cope with my Endo, I write how I feel down, find some humour and hopefully it will help in the future.

I don’t know whether I said in my other post that I prob only got two options left, but I think my hubby may want another child

Is this what it would be like? Minus the dog

This is my fear!

 

before I have the surgery (if that what I would go for) but I don’t want any more, I don’t think I can go through the stress and the strain, and the baby days again, I really really dont want post natal depression (which is likely and a higher chance) again, I want to enjoy my family and be happy, I am terrified I wouldn’t cope with another one, it’s bad enough coping with work, housework, washing and cooking, my house is not the neatest, it’s cluttered but clean (mostly!!) but could I imagine a baby in that mix, in this bungalow too? nope! But I guess we will come to that bridge when we come to it!!

But still I don’t know if I could..!!!

Questions in my head

So much to think about!

Endo back with a vengeance!!!

I don’t know if I have put in a earlier post, that I suffer from Endometriosis, I’m sure it’s somewhere towards the start of my Couch to 5k battle!!

Well I have been having a few niggles here and there but thought nothing of it, I went to the doctor after I felt like the bottom half of my being, was shattering into a million pieces, that is the only way to describe it, the pain took my breath away!! They put me on an emergency list to see the gynea, as I have near enough exhausted all options to “cure” this horrid disease of mine!!!

But this Monday it became a lot worse, it was right back at the start!! I am in constant agony, my ovaries (or where I think they are!!) hurt like mad, the pain in my lower regions my stomach and all that area feel like someone has been hammering away at me with a hammer and nail, I took my medication, which is pretty strong, but it hasn’t even touched the pain. 

I went to the doctors today, and for once I saw a sympathetic doctor (and he was MALE!!), he explained that when you hit your finger with a hammer and nail you can pinpoint the pain, even if you didn’t see it, however the pain I’m having isn’t like a normal period, when you have the pain then the stuff comes away and the pain dulls, he said because the pain is not within the uturus, and it has somehow gone elsewhere (lining of my stomach and the walls around, I’m guessing probably ovaries too!!) my brain can’t pinpoint the pain to the exaxct spot, so there we go. 

I kinda know that anyway but for him to explain it in the terms he did made me feel like he understands and doesn’t seem like he is trying to fob me off. (which has happened so much in the past!!)

Well anyway so here we go Im guessing on a start of my difficult battle for life against Endo once again, here is my first (I’m hoping my last!!) Image, signing me off for ten days all together!! I’m terrified that they will no longer see me as a candidate for the job that is coming up, I’ve been sacked from two jobs in the past because of this horrid disease, I’m praying that this will not be the same this time.

Apparantly there are only two options left, hormone tablets (which I’m sure I have tried before!!) that make you put on weight, give you more hair etc because it switches off your ovaries. That option I will not be going for, and the other is the one I didn’t want to have to go for, but if it helps, well then I shall, and that is surgery, Hysterectomy I’m guessing, but you know what I have one beautiful miracle of a son, that I could never believe would happen to me, I would rather have the quality of life for him and my hubby and me of course than, suffer “just in case” I want another child!! I know I’m young but I chose life over pain any day!!

Sorry about my ramblings, but this is where I go when I need to express myself and my worries. Thanks for reading 😀

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I don’t know i…

I don’t know if I have put in a earlier post, that I suffer from Endometriosis, I’m sure it’s somewhere towards the start of my Couch to 5k battle!!

Well I have been having a few niggles here and there but thought nothing of it, I went to the doctor after I felt like the bottom half of my being, was shattering into a million pieces, that is the only way to describe it, the pain took my breath away!! They put me on an emergency list to see the gynea, as I have near enough exhausted all options to “cure” this horrid disease of mine!!!

But this Monday it became a lot worse, it was right back at the start!! I am in constant agony, my ovaries (or where I think they are!!) hurt like mad, the pain in my lower regions my stomach and all that area feel like someone has been hammering away at me with a hammer and nail, I took my medication, which is pretty strong, but it hasn’t even touched the pain. 

I went to the doctors today, and for once I saw a sympathetic doctor (and he was MALE!!), he explained that when you hit your finger with a hammer and nail you can pinpoint the pain, even if you didn’t see it, however the pain I’m having isn’t like a normal period, when you have the pain then the stuff comes away and the pain dulls, he said because the pain is not within the uturus, and it has somehow gone elsewhere (lining of my stomach and the walls around, I’m guessing probably ovaries too!!) my brain can’t pinpoint the pain to the exaxct spot, so there we go. 

I kinda know that anyway but for him to explain it in the terms he did made me feel like he understands and doesn’t seem like he is trying to fob me off. (which has happened so much in the past!!)

Well anyway so here we go Im guessing on a start of my difficult battle for life against Endo once again, here is my first (I’m hoping my last!!) Image, signing me off for ten days all together!! I’m terrified that they will no longer see me as a candidate for the job that is coming up, I’ve been sacked from two jobs in the past because of this horrid disease, I’m praying that this will not be the same this time.

Apparantly there are only two options left, hormone tablets (which I’m sure I have tried before!!) that make you put on weight, give you more hair etc because it switches off your ovaries. That option I will not be going for, and the other is the one I didn’t want to have to go for, but if it helps, well then I shall, and that is surgery, Hysterectomy I’m guessing, but you know what I have one beautiful miracle of a son, that I could never believe would happen to me, I would rather have the quality of life for him and my hubby and me of course than, suffer “just in case” I want another child!! I know I’m young but I chose life over pain any day!!

Sorry about my ramblings, but this is where I go when I need to express myself and my worries. Thanks for reading 😀

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